Re Peter Boghossian: Welcoming Disagreement
I was watching this video by Peter Boghossian, and I find much of the things he says really valuable, as usual, however there is one thing I really… strongly disagree with. He's talking about disagreement, especially among woke friends --
...But you'll find something remarkable that happens: When you're blunt and forthright with people, they'll respect you more, even if you disagree with them.
No. No, definitely not. This is just wrong. This is just factually incorrect. It would be nice if that were the case, but especially if you hang out with people who have turned woke, oh, they will definitely not respect you for disagreeing with them. Especially if you have an argument which is somewhat well thought out and not easy to dismiss. They will hate your guts. They will try to destroy you. They will try to bring you down and make you miserable. It's different if they can still make light of you and dismiss you, but if you actually have a point, they will definitely *not* respect you. And you should never ever expect that. Do not expect that. Be prepared to lose people you thought were friends.
I think I get what he's trying to do here. You should not be fearful of speaking up. You should be honest, as he says, but for different reasons. You shouldn't have these wrong expectations of respect. Once you're in a circle of woke friends and you disagree with them, you will definitely lose friends and you will have a hard time. Unless you shut your mouth forever, it’s only a question of when, not if. You shouldn't expect otherwise. It will be hard, but it's worth it, because after this process, you will know who's actually reasonable and who isn't, and you can sort out these "bad apples", and in a woke circle, there will be a lot of them.
...talk to them, find commonality, reach across the line...
The bigger problem is actually, they will *not* talk to you, at least not in an open kind of way, at eye level. This discussion won't happen with woke, ideological people. They will not talk to you in an open-ended, honest way, especially if you have a point which is somewhat well thought out and you have an argument to make and you can explain your reasons. They might find some excuse not to talk. If anything, they might set up some kind of struggle session, structured so that they can dismiss any of your rational arguments by accusing you of hurting their feelings with your toxically-masculine logic. They don't want to hear it. And if you keep speaking up, they will find some way to get rid of you because they can't have their ideology questioned.
And what else should they do? Imagine you're in their place. You can't have your ideas challenged because you don't have an argument. Imagine you have a church community and you have this one guy who keeps telling your flock things like:
"How likely is it that your god is the correct one, given that there have been literally thousands of gods and religions in history, and virtually all of those religions are mutually exclusive?"
You're unable to face this person on a rational level. But you can't have someone like that in your congregation. What can you do? You have to get rid of him. You can throw him out. That's the only thing you can do. And they will.
So speak up. And be prepared that most people are really just weaklings and opportunists who will watch as you're stabbed in the back and do nothing.
Some people will respect you for disagreeing with them in a rational way, but most woke people will not. And if you find someone who still respects you after disagreeing with them even slightly, you should really value this person because they are few and far between, they are really unusual unicorns in woke circles. They are your friends and allies, and they will help you grow. They might even be sane, normal humans. Keep them close. Discard the rest.